How lies destroy relationships

Lies destroy relationships. Trust is important for good relationships. Being able to trust each other and not be worried about how each other might react or behave in certain situations.

What is a relationship?

The first relationship we know of exists between the three persons of the Godhead: The Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. These three have personality and they relate to each other in perfect harmony. The Father loves the Son and the Son loves the Father, and the Holy Spirit is completely focused on the Son. So a good relationship is one characterised by love and harmony.

The first human relationship was that of the first two people God created: Adam and Eve. At the first they lived in perfect harmony with each other and with God. But when they disobeyed God it damaged not only the relationship with God, but also their relationship with each other. They refused to accept personal responsibility. They each blamed someone else for their disobedience and they hid from God. Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent, and both of them hid from God. This is what people do today. They blame others and they hide or try to hide. They don’t want to face up to their bad behaviour.

So a relationship is a voluntary association between people. A couple are two people who want to be associated together in pursuing a common goal. Love and trust are important in any good relationship.

Lies destroy relationships

A lie is told to obtain some sort of benefit by the liar. Avoidance of punishment, gaining an advantage, gaining something else. When a lie is told, it seeks to persuade the hearer that the lie is the truth with the expectation that the hearer will act in accordance with it.

The serpent told a lie to Eve. He told her that if she ate the forbidden fruit, she would be like God. The serpent caused Eve to think that it would be good to be like God. He caused Eve to doubt God and to think that God was being unfair. The serpent lied to Eve. The serpent wanted Eve to disobey God. Eve believed the lie and acted on it and disobeyed God. Certainly unless Eve was foolish, she would not believe the serpent again. So trust was destroyed between Eve and the serpent. But the lie also damaged the relationship between Eve and Adam and between them and God. Consequences follow acting on lies.

Tell lies if you want to destroy relationships

Trust is important if you want to have good relationships. Knowing you can rely on the other person no matter what. It is awful when a person discovers that they can’t rely on a person they thought they could rely on. God still provided for Adam and Eve after their disobedience, but their lives became much harder.

Truth is always best, though sometimes you have to find a way to tell it tactfully. Jesus said “the truth will set you free”. Lies become like a spider’s web and entangle you. Truth enables you to live freely without hiding. Truth builds trust, lies destroy trust. The next time you are thinking about telling a lie, ask yourself if you are willing to be lied to? When I lie to someone, I am giving that person the authority to lie to me.

Hypocrisy

I talked to a man who was in a relationship with a woman. He had sexual encounters with other women while he was in that relationship. I asked him if he would be happy for her to do the same with other men. He was not happy for her to behave as he was behaving. What a hypocrite. That relationship ended when she found out about his lies and unfaithfulness.

So the best advice for keeping trust and love in a relationship is DON’T LIE!

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